it feels like ages ago that i wrote this very candid post on my job at that time. gosh, it was really challenging at that point. we were approaching our big audit of the year, which i had never been through, and it definitely got worse after that post before it got better. we did well on the audit [thankfully], so that helped ease things up a bit, but we had another big audit in october and lots going on in between. i even remember feeling pretty overwhelmed in november-december, just with the craziness of the holidays and long hours at work.
but then in january, suddenly, it all just calmed and everything was good. for the first time since i started this job, i felt like i had a handle on everything, i wasn’t having to work long hours [the late winter and spring are slower times for my facility], and i didn’t wake up wondering what was going to go wrong that day. i don’t know if we just had less issues or if i knew how to handle them better [probably both], but for the next few months, it finally felt like my days weren’t so stressful and i was comfortable with what i was doing. it was such a relief after a year of anxiety and chaos in my job, and it was just what i needed to feel more confident in myself at work.
i’d like to say that this is where the story ends, but that’s never the case, is it?! those months were nice while they lasted! as of last week, it sounds like there are going to be changes with my team in the near future that are going to pose new challenges, which a part of me is resisting so hard… let’s be real, change is difficult. resisting change is a very human thing to do. it’s true what they say – that change is the only constant in life, and i believe it’s really important to be able to accept it and move forward. but in practice, this can be challenging, and in the past several days, i’ve been questioning why i’ve had such a hard time with this upcoming change at work. but the answer is this: when an employee who happens to be a dear friend is also a very valuable asset to the team, a loyal and strong supporter, and an experienced worker who is always there to bounce ideas off of, it’s really really hard to see that person go, even though you’re so happy for his new opportunity. it’s nerve-wracking to think about operating without him [especially since i’m planning a wedding and also have some other big changes happening at work], and then it’s also sad because i will miss him and know that he has kept me sane in the most trying of times. it will be weird without him, and i wonder how i’ll get through the days without his advice, his help, his reassurance, and our conversations about God and life and people. i get anxious thinking about it, and i find my confidence faltering slightly at the unknowns ahead of me.
but this is where God comes in.
{…”he will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished.”}
on one particularly challenging day recently, i was feeling afraid and a bit defeated. seeking wisdom [a bit desperately] and help to just get through the day, i googled “bible verse of the day” on my lunch break and the verse above popped up. it was too spot-on to be a coincidence. the message was loud, clear, and straightforward: be strong and courageous. do the work. do not be afraid or discouraged. God is with you. he will not fail or forsake you until all the work of the Lord is finished.
it’s hard to argue with that! i wish i could say that the rest of the day and the days following were easy, but the reality is that God never said it’s going to be easy. he never said that the path would be straight and wide with no bumps along the way. but he did say that he would be there walking with me, and that his work and will shall be done. so as for me, i will serve him and push forth and trust that he will lead me in the right direction and guide me in the difficult times.
finally, i’m thankful that God helped build my confidence in recent months to prepare me for this step. he knows what he is doing! so ready or not, here we go…