i decided that now is a great time to do a post from the heart!  even though i’m still young-ish [or at least i’d like to think i am, haha] and i would not consider myself as qualified to give career or life advice as many of my co-workers and mentors, the reflective side of me does have some advice to offer those who are interested in reading it.  believe it or not, i’ve learned a few things in the past 28 years of life and 6 years of my career. ;)

a little background… in my current job, i manage 20 people right now and have managed 35+ people at one time during some points during the past year and a half.  this has been difficult, humbling, rewarding, enlightening, stressful, educational, fun, and just plain hectic at times!  but i feel very fortunate to have had the experience to get to do this, and i’ve learned through this process that i LOVE leading a team.  there’s nothing quite like it.

my employees are all ages – many of them are 19-25, but several are in their 40s and 50s.  they come from all different cultures and races, many speak english as their native language and many do not.  it’s definitely a blue-collar industry, whereas my previous 5 years in the industry was definitely white-collar.  i have a lot of very intelligent employees, but most haven’t gone to college, etc.  let me be clear on this – i’m not implying that one industry is better than the other because that’s not the case.  the factory vs. office settings are just very different.

BUT it’s also been interesting to see how some things are the same across the board – what motivates people, the ways that different personality types interact in conflict or under pressure, etc.  when i look at many of my employees, particularly the younger ones, i see so much potential – they are sharp, diligent, reliable.  they have a long life ahead of them.  i hope they make the right choices, i hope they push themselves do more with their lives, because they certainly have the ability to go far.

some of my employees have faced unimaginable challenges in their life.  one had her brother and cousin get murdered at random by cartels.  another had a husband who tried to set her on fire with kerosene.  another suffered from schizophrenia or some sort of pychosis, and two more who were brothers had an extremely rare form of albinism that causes vision problems, bleeding disorders, cellular tissue damage and fatal lung complications.  tragically, those two brothers passed away last december.

still there are others who seem like just your average millennial americans, but who are dreamers – young adults who came to this country as small children with parents who don’t have lawful immigration status.  most of them came over at such a young age that they don’t remember their home country and haven’t been back since, so all they’ve ever known is america.  and yet they worry about their parents getting deported or even being forced to return themselves and leave the life they know behind, paying for a decision they never made in the first place.

immigration has been a hot and very difficult topic lately, and i really have no interest in getting into a political discussion about it.  i can see both sides of the coin, but no matter where you fall on the political spectrum [i myself prefer to be somewhere in the middle, personally], any person with a heart knows that change is needed in this area.  the “how” is the hard part, but i feel the weight of these decisions on the families that i have grown to know and love over the course of a year and a half.  as a country founded under the name of God on the premise of liberty, i can only hope that the Lord guides the leaders of our country to make the best decision for our country and also for the good of humankind.

okay, back to the point… many of my employees have gone through tough times.  others whom i can think of have lived more sheltered lives, and get upset and distressed when things are chaotic at work.  i have to give some of those employees pep talks frequently and encourage them to keep sticking it out, because some days, they feel like they just can’t do it.  and really, can i blame them?  this job is hard, man.  i was that sheltered girl a year ago, dealing with a million things a day that i knew nothing about, or so it felt.  long hours and lots of stress can be the name of the game sometimes, but we get through it and are better because of it.  we become resilient and strong and confident when we persevere.  and that brings to me to something i’ve been reflecting on a lot lately – what is my advice for my employees?  how can i help them be successful?  what have i learned throughout my life and career that can be put into words that can assist other people in their endeavors and life in general?  there are three things that i’ve put on paper and turned into a sign for my employees that i believe in to the core:

1.  INTEGRITY –  doing the right thing even when no one is watching or when it’s hard.  storytime!!  here’s an example of how integrity paid off in the long run.

once there was a man who was made the executor of the will of his aunt and uncle, who had no children.  the aunt and uncle wanted to leave their money to the man and his sister.  the aunt’s brother [the man’s father] had passed away, but the uncle’s brother was still living.  the man was unselfish and thought of others more than himself, so he asked his uncle, “don’t you want to leave more money to your younger brother?”  but the uncle said no, that he wanted most of the money to go to the man and his sister, the people who took care of him.  when the man’s aunt passed away and his uncle was very old, his uncle’s younger brother suddenly began visiting his brother often from far away where he lived, but he also made his brother pay for his visits.  he convinced his brother to give him money for different reasons, and then started visiting the lawyer with his brother to talk about the will.  the man knew about these visits and about the money the uncle was giving his brother because he was the executor of the will, and he worried that his uncle’s brother might be taking advantage of him, but he didn’t say anything.  then the lawyer told the man that the brother wanted his uncle to change his will to give him all his money.  the man knew that his uncle was old and may agree to this if his brother put enough pressure on him, which made him worry.  he didn’t think it was what his uncle wanted.  he thought and thought about it, but in the end, he said nothing.  he decided that neither he nor his sister desperately needed the money, and if his uncle’s brother did and his uncle decided to give him all of his money, then so be it.  the money wasn’t worth the ruining of a relationship.  so his uncle and his brother went to the lawyer and changed the will for all the money to go to the brother.  and the man didn’t let this bother him because he knew that he shouldn’t worry about money and that he was doing the right thing.  his uncle’s health deteriorated as he got older, and many months later, he passed away.  the man didn’t expect to receive any money, but on the day that his uncle passed, he received a surprising call from the lawyer.  “you’re not going to believe this,” the lawyer told him, “but your uncle never signed the documents to change the will, even though his brother thought he did.  so everything in the will is the same as was originally decided.”  the man was in shock that his uncle had purposely not signed, but he was pleased that he could feel confident that his uncle had done exactly what he had wanted without his influence.  the moral of the story is that sometimes when you do the right thing even though it’s hard or you don’t want to, good things come to you.

i should be clear in stating that not all scenarios work out exactly like that story above, where everything is tied in a neat little bow at the end for someone who does the right thing.  and as seen in that story above, it’s definitely not instant gratification either.  sometimes employers notice their employees displaying integrity and will promote them for it, but unfortunately the reality is that not everyone values integrity.  in fact, some employers even get angry with their employees for having integrity or trying to do the right thing and try to convince them to do otherwise.  acting with integrity doesn’t always have immediate pay-offs and sometimes initially leaves you at a disadvantage, and that’s what makes it so hard.  but my belief is that eventually it always pays off in life, and it might be indirectly or in ways you don’t discover until much later.  i personally try to reward people with integrity as much as possible, and would hire an employee or give them a raise in a heartbeat if i saw that they displayed integrity over someone who didn’t.  i’ve found that when i not only talk to my employees about integrity, but also practice what i preach, i end up with a lot of employees who take it very seriously, which i just love.  this characteristic is EVERYTHING to me.  and karma’s a b****, guys.  just saying.  but it’s better to do the right thing because it’s the right thing, and not because you’re scared of what would happen if you didn’t do it.  that’s my two cents on that matter.

2.  GRIT – success is not about talent or IQ or even passion.  it’s about hard work and persevering despite challenges and failures.  challenges are what separate the strong from the weak.  when i was going through a hard time, my mom told me to watch this ted talk video on grit [you should definitely watch it], and she told me that she admired my grit.  i had never heard of the concept, but it really, really hit home with me.  did i really have grit?  maybe i wasn’t giving myself enough credit for what i was enduring.  my mom [and the video on grit] somehow instilled in me this pride for what i had already done and determination for what i had yet to do.  i realized that YES, i was going to get through this, and YES, i was going to come out on top.  no matter what cards you’re dealt in life, it’s hard work and perseverance that are going to give you success.  the more you can get used to doing difficult things and overcoming challenges, the more successful you will be in life.  as they say, nothing good in life comes easy.

i mentioned it earlier, but i’ve had to really work with a couple of my employees on their grit.  it’s fulfilling to be able to truly empathize with them because i’ve certainly been there, yet to be able to use my experiences and learnings to help them grow.  it’s been fun to see them develop that grit!  i’m so proud of them.  and many of my other employees have taught me more than a few things about grit… the learning goes both ways!

3.  SPIRITUALITY – if you think you’re in control, you’re going to find life way too challenging.  a guy at a leadership camp that i went to in high school once said this, and it has stuck with me.  i wish i could thank him for putting it into words, but i don’t remember his name!  this whole concept is a hard one to explain, but i’m going to get a little philosophical on you guys and do my best.  spirituality and faith are the first things that comes to mind when i think about success in life, which to me is feeling fulfilled and happy and content with your life.  success isn’t really about money… money doesn’t buy happiness, and if the richest person in the world isn’t happy, then is he really successful in life?  i would personally say no.  so success t0 me = fulfillment and happiness, and the root of happiness is gratitude.  i believe that feeling grateful for what you have makes you feel happy, whether great or small.  but the question is, to whom are you grateful for what you have?  if you’re going around attributing success to you yourself alone or patting yourself on the back for all the things you’ve accomplished, you’re never going to find true happiness.  because the reality is that while you may have worked hard and made some smart decisions in your life, you didn’t accomplish what you’ve accomplished by yourself.  whether or not you realize it, there was someone there helping you all along.  and no, i’m not talking about all the other people along the way who gave you a boost, although i’m sure there were many.  i’m talking about God, who brought you into this life to begin with and helped you with every single thing you’ve ever accomplished [and also put the people in your life along the way to help you as well].

i wouldn’t be talking about it right now if i didn’t know it was true.  once you really know Jesus and fully trust in his sovereignty, you experience a joy beyond comprehension and radiates from you so brightly that it’s uncontainable and you feel like you just have to share it.  i truly believe that i have one of the happiest families – no, we’re not perfect, but yes, we are extremely happy in life – and i attribute all of that to our faith in the Lord.  it’s not because we haven’t experienced any hardships or tragedies… my grandmother lost her 33-year-old husband and 6-year-old son in the same day, if you can imagine that.  but even despite that, and even despite her losing her second husband of 31 years to cancer years later, she is a very happy person thanks to the light of the Lord that’s present and living inside of her.  she would 100% attest to that.  i’m not one those people trying to force my faith down people’s throats, but i’ve found that at every place that i’ve worked, i’ve ended up getting in deep talks about faith and Jesus with at least one coworker.  it wasn’t because i brought it up, but because people have had something on their heart that they wanted to share in confidence.  i love that.  i’ve learned amazing things about faith from each of these people.  it’s no coincidence that they were put in my life and wanted to share this piece of their life with me.

finally, some of you may be thinking that your life is pretty great the way it is without Jesus in it, that things are going well for you, and you’re happy, so why do you need faith?  i will tell you this one thing:  the certainty of knowing what will happen to you when you die and your loved ones when they die is an indescribable comfort, a peace for the soul when you are faced with the hollows of death.  but on the other hand, the uncertainty of eternity for your loved ones or the fear of death when it’s imminent for you is a gut-wrenching pain that can eat you alive.  one of my coworkers that i mentioned above experienced this firsthand with a loved one, and it’s what brought him from being unsure of his stance on God [for many years] to being one of the most faith-filled people i know.  the certainty of eternity and God’s grace can be a reality for everyone, yet it’s rejected by many.  it’s sometimes days, hours, moments before death that people see the big picture, and others never see it.  it’s hard realizing that it might be too late.  and we never know when our time will come – we may not have years, months, or even days.  just food for thought.  anyway, enough about the sad stuff… truly, if if anyone is wanting to know my secret to a happy life, Jesus is IT.  he’s the one to thank for the good times and going to help you through the bad times.  coming off of my pulpit now… ;)  just trying to share some good news.

those are what i consider the three defining decisions in life.  if anyone has any thoughts, i’d love to hear them!  as always, thanks for reading.  i love you guys!  xoxo