happy love day, friends!
remember last year when i posted my own silly little to-do list for single ladies on valentine’s day?
well, this year i have come up with a new & improved v-day list for those ridin’ solo, brought to you by an older and wiser [and still single!] jessica. it’s tried and true, tested by none other than the queen of the valentine-less herself. there are the do’s and don’ts, but even more than that, the did’s. in words and color photos and just a hint of sarcasm.
so, without further ado, here’s how a lady without a mate spends her v-day:
1. it’s best to start with a enjoyable evening the night before. for example, maybe a tasting in a viticulture and oenology class, a.k.a. WINE CLASS, followed by a fun get-together at a gordon biersch with an awesome group of people. you really will wake up much happier than if you spent the evening wallowing in self-pitying and dread for the holiday.
2. number one on the previous list is still a big rule of thumb. wake up planning to spread the love, people. that’s what this day is all about.
3. put pink sprinkles on everything. including your oatmeal in the morning. it is a simple way to make you feel festive while still avoiding all the in-your-face teddy-bear- and balloon-type of adornments.
also. that picture of the oatmeal. sorry bout it.
4. opt to wear something pink, no matter how much you want to wear black…
5. open cards from your parents and grandmother, and feel grateful that snail mail still exists.
7. rock a really bad hair day, and then poke fun of yourself on facebook. can someone say “messy braid?”
8. curse at the radio stations on the way to work, although not for playing too many love songs, but for playing too many commercials.
9. always welcome valentines from secret admirers. even when they come from your co-worker’s nine-month-old. in fact, especially when they come from your co-worker’s nine-month-old. isn’t he the cutest? totally made my day.
10. go tell your boss how awesome she is. and it’s not just about the sweet little valentine goodies she left by your keyboard, because you feel lucky to have her as a boss all the other 364 days of the year too.
11. eat a chocolate-covered strawberry as a morning snack. because why not?
12. fill up your brain with a whole lot of technical food science information – pseudomonas syringae biosurfactants and their effect on salmonella, surface topography of fruits and how that can affect pathogen levels, STECs vs. ETECs and PCT testing, etc. – so that you’ll forget it’s even valentine’s day. that is, until you notice the garden of bouquets being delivered to the office… but it worked for several hours!
13. have a really tasty cajun lunch at whole foods…
14. …and then finish it off with a mini chocolate cheesecake. because the “gorging yourself with chocolate” rule definitely still applies.
15. go to the grocery store and marvel at how many people are still trying to purchase their last-minute valentines. the holiday is halfway over! also, try to feel a teensy bit happy that you got to avoid that portion of valentine’s day this year [and oh, the past 4+ years. not something i’m proud to admit but it does have its advantages].
16. giggle at the most adorable little boy in the card section of the grocery store. he’s probably three, and as his mom searches through the picked-over mess of valentine cards, he runs over to her with a card in his hand that he just picked out himself and says proudly, “mommy, I found the best grown-up card,” and his mom looks at it and says, “honey, this is a birthday card.” just too sweet.
17. go on a rant about how conversation hearts just aren’t like they used to be. because it’s true. first they take away the best color (white) and replace it with a very overrated color (blue), and after all that you only get one blue in the whole box, and then they change the flavor of the green to green apple, and the box doesn’t even contain any yellows at all, and the writing is smeared or has rubbed off on a bunch of the hearts, but those that you can read say things like, “LOL” and “TEXT ME” or have a picture of a purse on them. seriously? if this is romance these days, then we all might as well just skip the whole ordeal. okay, now step down off your soapbox.
[and don’t forget to take a picture of the entire box of conversation hearts dumped out so everyone can see what you’re talking about.]
18. leave a tad bit early from work, because after all, the fact that it’s both single awareness day and a friday should count for something, right?
19. avoid the bars. this is a direct contradiction from what i said last year, but remember – this time, it’s tried and true. and unless you want to get chatted up by a bunch of guys that you never wanted to talk to and get stuck staying out a lot later than you planned and watch a bunch of people burn pictures of their exes at events with names like “bitter ball 2014” [no joke – i heard it advertised on the radio], don’t hit up the bars on v-day, people. just my experience.
20. as if you haven’t had enough sugar, a scoop and a half of cinnamon roll ice cream for dinner is the way to go.
21. work out. because yeahhhh, you’re going to need it.
22. formulate this crazy valentine’s day plan in your head that will not be elaborated on in this blog and that is against your better judgement [the older and wiser jessica should know better], and then actually go through with it. YOLO.
23. attempt to go in the hot tub, but then find out that it’s not hot and that you don’t know how to work the temperature monitor. so take a hot bath instead. also, light a delicious candle.
24. re-watch this video of ben stuart of breakaway ministries speak about attraction, the first of six incredible talks on solomon’s song of songs in the bible. because how cool is it to think that God is preparing my husband for me, and me for him, as we speak. it gives me chills. and the thing about God is, He’s always on time. so i know all this lesson-learning, finding-yourself, being-single-stuff is all part of the plan, and it will all be worth it someday. have faith and have hope, fellow singles. our time will come too.
andddd my v-day list ended up being 10 more pieces of “advice” than last year’s – 24 bulletpoints of wisdom from an almost 24-year-old. and my birthday happensssss to be next weekend!! eeeek! getting old…
have a very happy valentine’s day. <3