it’s been a while since i’ve done an everyday post on life – the nitty-gritty, the daily grind, the good, the bad, and the ugly. and i’ll be honest… when i last posted on my new job, i had every intention of following up with a post about some of the realities and challenges of the job, but with a positive spin that would turn it all into a happy, wonderful learning experience, of course! because that’s how i felt about it then… it wasn’t without its challenges, but overall it wasn’t as bad as i thought, was a great opportunity to learn, yada yada.
and while those things were true at the time [a few months back] and although it still is a great learning experience, this whole job thing has NOT been a cakewalk. especially the last month or so. let me just vent here for a second and not try to sugarcoat things for once. it is trying, it is frustrating, it is exhausting. every day is full of completely new and different challenges. a lot of times, it feels that if 1 thing does go right, 2 things will go wrong, and some days it seems like everything possible goes wrong or needs to be addressed, just like clockwork, every 5 minutes. many [most] days lately, it exhausts me to the point of being at my wit’s end, wanting to give up. i work long hours as it is, and then i often find myself coming home to get on the computer and work more, or driving back up to the plant as soon as i get home, like i did today, despite feeling like i have no energy left to put forth. i miss being in a good mood when i come home from work [both jamie and my mother are saints for having to listen to all my frustrations on the phone when i get home], i miss feeling like i had a life outside of work or not being worried that i’ll have to cancel dinner plans [like i did today] or work on the weekend [like i will do this weekend]. i feel like i don’t have time for the things i enjoy in my personal life, like blogging and photography, nor do i even have time for the things i don’t enjoy but that have to happen, like cleaning my house and working out. and then i feel guilty when i’m not at work… when i come in at 9 am instead of 7:30 am because i was in the office from 9 to 11 pm the night before [on a day that i actually took vacation], when i don’t work on a saturday, when i go out of town or when i leave 5 minutes before production ends even though i’m the only management left at the plant. i’m not gonna lie – this job is hard, y’all.
but i’m truly trying my hardest to stay positive. how do you get through the difficult times, especially when they seem to completely consume your life? here are my ways [still a work in progress, but definitely helping greatly]:
: : PRAY. every day, often. read the bible, ask God for help.
: : be grateful for the positive aspects of your life. find something good to focus on. for example, even though i have to work long hours, at least i have a very short commute to the plant, which really helps with my quality of life despite the current job situation. even though i do have to work a lot of weekends, i have been able to get some weekends off and travel to visit family and have a wonderful time. the gratitude journal really works, guys.
: : prioritize sleep + workouts as much as possible. these are directly related to your health and well-being and will also directly affect how you respond to the challenges in your life. i’ve realized that these two things should come before blogging, cooking, and even cleaning my house when necessary because they will better equip me to handle situations that i face throughout the day and also help me have the energy to complete those other tasks later on.
: : LOSE THE GUILT. this is something that i’ve really struggled with in this job and still am struggling with, but i’m working on it. everyone needs a personal life – it makes you a better and more engaged employee during the day. when you take time off, the absolute worst thing you could do is spend it feeling guilty for taking the time off. it’s already done, no benefit in feeling guilty. as they say, no one can make you feel guilty without your own consent, so i’m working on not conceding to those feelings.
: : immerse yourself in those thoughts that make you happy. maybe you’re planning an upcoming trip or dreaming of redoing your kitchen? imagining the perfect meal in your head or creating the perfect to-do list for the weekend? reliving a fun memory or daydreaming about the future? it sounds silly, but this really works for me. even if you take one or two minutes when you’re stressed and go to that happy place in your head, it can make a huge difference in your mood. i know from experience.
these weeks are hard, but thankfully i’ve been able to balance them a little with some amazing weekends – trips with jamie to visit family and fun weekends in colorado that feel like vacation. i could go on and on about the negatives of work some days, but i’m trying not to dwell on the hard times. it could be a lot worse, and it’s all going to be okay in the end. anyway, that’s the authentic, real-life non-weekend viewpoint of life right now… you can probably expect part 2 with a more positive spin coming next. ;) happy hump day!